Count my many blessings

I realized that it's been eleven months since I have blogged.  Very sad.  I think about it all of the time, I just can't seem to remember to sit down and put my thoughts onto my blog. 

I am now a very 33 1/2 weeks pregnant.  I can't see my toes, my clothes are already getting too tight (my maternity clothes...the ones with the stretchy waist bands...I'm in trouble with seven more weeks to go) and I want to sleep 23 out of the 24 hours of the day.   I have noticed that "mama grizz" shows up a little more often than usual and I have developed so many pet peeves I can hardly stand myself.  Josh spends most of his time with me giving me the "lighten up" look or trying to ignore my snide comments.  Bless his heart.  He is such a trooper of a husband.  He really should get an award for having to put up with me this pregnant.  Little does he realize that the next seven weeks are just going to get worse and worse before they get better.  But I am trying to keep it under wraps.  As long as I get a reasonable amount of sleep, can keep my house below 76 degrees in the day and have dinner somewhat under control, my life seems to run a lot smoother.  I think it would help tremendously if I don't get daily comments from random people shocked that I still have seven weeks before I have this baby, or that my belly really is getting big, or the sad "ahhhh" when they find out that number five is, yet indeed, ANOTHER boy.  The comments are getting less and less original and less and less amusing. 
Which leads into my real reason of blogging tonight.

This afternoon I ventured to Smith's with my four little boys.  Mind you, this hasn't happened for months and months and months.  I refuse to take my brood to the grocery store.  But I was feeling brave today.  We were all put together.  I had showered, done my hair and put make-up on  (Dr appointment day... you know how that goes).  My kids were dressed, hair combed and in fairly decent moods.  So I thought, "what the heck, how bad can it be?"  My kids were doing remarkably well.  Luke stayed seated in the cart, my other three tagged right along next to me.  Then it happened.  Something I have never yet experienced.  My four boys and I were alone in the ice cream aisle at the grocery store when I hear an outloud "OH MY GOSH".  I turned around to find a gentlemen staring at me, counting my children and oggling my pregnant belly. He was either disgusted or dumbfounded, I really couldn't tell. He then said "whoa" and turned around and walked away. I wanted to say something like "oh this is nothing, I left the other four at home" or "my sister-wife has six, I'm trying to catch up".


It was amazing.  First of all, that any person would actually stop and turn around in an aisle and make and outloud comment, all the while staring very rudely.  And second of all, I have FOUR kids, not seventeen.  Was that really necessary?  None of my kids were being crazy...not one of them.  They were quietly standing in front of the ice cream cooler choosing an ice cream flavor.  I understand that I am enormously pregnant, but it's with my FIFTH kid.  That's not an obsene number.  I couldn't get that out of my head for a number of hours.  I have come to the conclusing he is either #1 from Park City, has never been married or had his own children.  #2 he has never seen a child before, let alone FOUR from the same family or #3 his mother never taught him any manners.  Whatever his reason, I feel bad for him that it was appalling to see my cute little family.  I, on the other hand, count my many blessings every day that I have been so blessed to be surrounded by such handsome little men.  They are wonderful and crazy and dirty and sweet and every day is full of adventure.  I am thankful to currently have five, soon to be six handsome men in my life.  I am the most blessed woman on earth.  So let that crazy man think what he wants.  He just has no idea how much he is missing - and for that, I feel very bad for him.

Rare moments

All too often "bedtime" is a swear word in our household.  It brings me a lot of anxiety and irritation trying to talk three children into going to bed without yelling and screaming at each other, whining and crying and being naughty.  And then coaxing the baby to just lay down in his crib and not cry while I walk out of the room.  Evening starts setting in and my mood shifts from a bright sunshine to a dim loom and gloom. 

Tonight however, was different.  My baby missed his second nap, so by eight he was exhausted.  He afforded me the rare opportunity of letting me rock him to sleep.  I sang him some Primary songs and he was snoozing long before the first song was over.  Overjoyed that he was so snug and cozy in my arms, I sang to him and cuddled him and kissed him for quite some time.  It's not often that my little man likes to be held to go to sleep, so I had to soak up the moment.  I carefully laid him in his crib and tiptoed out of the door without so much as a whine or a cry.  As I closed the door, my heart was very full of gratitude for that sweet little baby.  Then it was time to tackle the big boys.  I walked up the street to get the three big boys playing night games at the neighbors house.  Instead of the usual cries of "it's not fair!  No one else has to go home this early!", I was greeted with a smile and my oldest gathered his brothers and announcing with grace that it was time to go home.  As we were approaching the house, Tyler asked to go for a walk...with me.  "Sure Ty, that is a great idea!"  was my quick reply.  Hand in hand with Ben, Tyler to my side and William running up and down the sidewalk in front of us, I walked with my sweet boys around our block.  Slowly walking, and listening intently to their chatter and coversation, I was thinking to myself what a rare and wonderful moment this was.  We were all in harmony.  As we got home, they quickly obeyed and got their jammies on, brushed their teeth, knelt for prayers, did "bed bus" to their beds and so far, have stayed cheerfully in their beds.  All I hear still is happy sounds from the basement.

So tonight instead of cringing at the word "bedtime", I am smiling at it.  What a pleasant evening this has been.  I love every second I can get with my boys.  I can think of nothing else that would be as fulfilling and gratifying as being a mom.  If it could be like this every day, I would wake up wishing it was bedtime already.

This mom is ready for school to start

The time has come, it's true my friends

Summer is over, fun officially ends.

The tramp is "no fun" the sand box is "a bore"

Heaven forbid the kids do "one more chore"

They are so tired from play dates and having late nights

From sun up to sun down it's whining and fights.

We've gone to the park and swam at the pool

Slept over at cousins and broke every rule.

Their appetites are crazy, they eat non-stop

They've had so many popsicles, I think they might pop.

I've run out of ideas of what to play

Who to play with and how long to stay.

I'm so grateful it's only a little over a week

Til the school bell is ringing and their desk they will seek.

So teachers, it's time for you to do your part

'Cause this mom is ready for school to start.

If you think you've had a busy day, read on, you'll feel better, I promise.

Two words can sum up the past 45 days - whirl...wind. Okay, it's not two words, but it adds drama if you break it up! We moved out of our home on March 27th and into my mom and dad's house until we figured out what we were doing. We had a contract signed on a home in Midway that we LOVED and felt was perfect for our family. We ran into a few snags with the appraisal - ended up having to pay for a second appraisal on our loan to buy the home. The day we ordered our second appraisal, we left for an eight day vacation to Disneyland with two of my really good friends and their families. It was a little crazy trying to pack two weeks ahead of time for Disneyland when we were trying to pack up our townhome. What was more crazy, was trying to sort through all of the suitcases we were living out of at my moms to rearrange and pack them for the trip once we did move. Good gracious, I truly thought I was going to go gray at 29. Disneyland was a riot and well worth it for the priceless memories. Our kids ask daily when we are going to go back. While in Disneyland, we received a phone call from our underwriter stating that our loan was ready to close any time. So... we had to mentally gear up for another move (second in three weeks) as soon as we got home. I tried so hard to enjoy Disnelyand - the nice stress-free environment because I knew the second we got home, it was going to be nothing but "go" until we were in. We signed our loan documents the first business day back from vacation and starting buying paint and supplies the following day. It was a paint fest here at our new house for a full four days. I'm talking sun up to well past sun-down. It was intense. We started painting on a Tuesday night and ended on Saturday at 3pm. We moved in- in what felt like a whirlwind, without much planning. And just like that, out entire family of six found ourselves sleeping in our new home. No planning went into this move. We just rushed into it because we were done painting and we could. Sunday morning rolled around and I was frantically searching for a matching pair of Sunday shoes for not only myself, but five other people. White shirts? Slacks? oh ya, and church socks. Not relaxing. Not at all what I expected our first morning in our home to be. Luckily we all made it to church ON TIME and were cheerfully greeted by a great ward. I could continue with the saga of soccer for William starting the Tuesday night we started painting, Tyler actually missed the tryouts for the AA drafts for baseball during this chaos, luckily a coach picked him up because they saw him play last year. His games started two weeks ago. Luke got the flu two days after we moved in - which lasted for five miserable days. We had been in our house four days when we had to leave for a four day camping trip for the Winterton family reunion in Topaz. I came home with mounds of stinky campfire laundry, only to find my washer was on the fritz. Luke was still not in tip top shape, so the laundry from him alone was staggering. Last Monday morning, it all blew. I was done. The craziness had...to...stop or I was going to lose my mind. I spent the whole day just wandering around looking at the disasters in every room. Thankfully, my sweet husband swooped in and saved me. He started digging into all of the rooms, hanging pictures, emptying boxes upon boxes. He doesn't really know I have this blog, so he will never really know how much he saved my life last week. Thanks to him, and so many good,sweet, dear friends, our house now looks like a home.

So that pretty much brings me to now. Nothing has really calmed down, but my attitude is a little better. I decided it's okay that life isn't perfectly calm and still. It's okay that all around me is a tornado. As long as my soul is still, I can manuever around all the chaos around me. Thank goodness for prayer and Diet Pepsi - or honestly, I would never be able to dig myself out of this wonderful pile of a mess called life.

Ten years, one month and two days...

That's how long we have lived in the townhome we moved out of today. We had been married three months when we moved in. We were naive newlyweds who lived on love and faith. Not much has changed... okay, maybe it has. We have since celebrated our tenth wedding anniversary, had four little boys, had a major career change -Josh started his own business...the list goes on and on and on. Our little "treehouse" was wonderful. Josh and I absolutely loved our little home. As crazy as it still seems to me, we never felt cramped. My mom told me today that feeling content was such a huge blessing. She was right. I think the Lord knew that it would be a long time before we would ever be able to move on - so we were blessed to love our circumstances and not know the difference. Don't get me wrong, I'm giddy as a school girl to be able to move into a home our family will actually fit into. I'm delighted to be able to send my kids into a backyard that they can toss a ball to each other and be able to stand apart more than six feet. To not have my neighbors be able to look through the window to see what we are having for dinner. It will be wonderful to have a place for everything. But at the same time, I will miss my baby Luke in my room. I will miss my husband falling up the stairs - both sets of stairs - on his way up to our room. I will miss him chasing me upstairs (as much as I act like I hate it...I LOVED our little game). I will miss being able to walk out my front door to join all of my wonderful friends and their kids playing out front. I will miss being able to send my kids out and about the neighborhood for hours and not have to worry about them. I will miss all of our friends that would drop in to watch a game. I will miss a lot of things.

However, I will NOT miss the dog poop in my front yard that just happened to always be right where I needed to step to get into my car. I will NOT miss the sixteen bags of groceries I would line up my arms so I only had to make one trip up my thirteen stairs to my kitchen. I will NOT miss the HOA. Sorry Welch Agency, you will be forever on my S list. I will NOT miss the door to door salesman that come to our neighborhood because they can hit three times as many houses in a third of the time. I will miss all of our dear friends and neighbors.

We have deep roots there, and I'm pretty sure those friendships will never die. We've been through a lot in that house. Lots of good, a few not so good. But all in all, the feelings that encompass me right now are feelings of great memories and great times. I know the good times will keep on rolling. I know that our family will meet great new friends. I know that our new home will provide us will thousands of more wonderful experiences. I can't wait. I can't wait to see what lies in store for our family.

It's going to be an adventure!

Today's Discoveries

I discovered two things today - #1. I can run forever and never catch up to a four year old on a bike going down a busy street that isn't stopping at any corners or watching for cars. #2. Four year olds are highly underestimated. They know exactly what buttons they are pushing and know the exact reaction they will get. Unfortunately for mom, it's usually not the best reaction that comes out. I need to work on that. I also need to work on teaching my four year old to nix the death wish and stay with me on walks.

Tug-o-war

Monday we accepted an offer on our house, which means we are moving! It also means that I am so sad I could cry. And actually, I have, a lot. We have had our house on the market for one year and eight months. You would think by now that I would be absolutely ecstatic that we finally sold. However, since it has taken so long, selling just seemed like something that would happen sometime in the future that I actually put it out of my mind. So now that it is actually going to happen, I feel very unprepared. My emotions are very raw and I feel an absurd amount of sadness that I have to leave my life here in this neighborhood. It's silly and incredibly selfish, but my life is here. I don't want to leave all of my friends behind. I know I will make new friends in our new neighborhood, but I want these friends. They are my girls night buddies, my ladies lunch group, my support, my sanity and my best friends. It's not like we are moving out of the country, we are moving across town. You would think that moving a few miles away wouldn't rock my friendship world. But I've seen it happen. People move out of a neighborhood and they move on. You make new friends in your new neighborhood and your old friends in your old neighborhood move on too. I don't want to be forgotten! I sound like a nine year old little girl sad to move away from my best friend next door. I've been there, done that. And now I'm doing it again! My heart is in the midst of a tug-o-war. Happy to get a new home / so sad to have to move.
Last night after a spontaneous girls night to go see the late showing of Valentine's Day, I came home and cried my eyes out. I have got to get a grip on my wallowing in self pity. Really, it's going to be fine. I can't waste any more time worrying about my social life. I need to concentrate on finding the perfect home for my growing family. It will be great. All will be well. It is a blessing to add new friends to the old friends and keep the circle growing :) No more sadness, only great anticipation in the changes to come.